by Hon. Judge Charmaine A.J. Pemberton
Hon. Judge Charmaine A.J. Pemberton serves as a Judge of the Court of Appeal of the Judiciary of Trinidad and Tobago.
When I was thinking about what to write in celebration of 10 March, many topics came to mind. Then it struck me… what if I share my thoughts on judicial wellness from a very personal, if not taboo, standpoint?
Facing conflict is the nature of our profession, one that we chose, while we handle stress, burnout, trauma, isolation, ultra-privacy, and public and institutional scrutiny, all leading to a sustained performance pressure. One can almost conclude that we live many lives. All the while we must be cognitively at the “top of our game” – produce judgments, be pictures of morality and uprightness, show respect to all, sometimes in the face of hurtful and untrue public scrutiny, referred to as “mandatory neutrality”, and still face the shops and supermarkets like everyone else. Layered on that for women is gendering, the topic for greater exploration.
In addition, in the Small Island Developing States (SIDS), (though that is up for review), there is a smaller judicial pool, bringing with it personal familiarity, the loss of anonymity and limited institutional buffers.
My friend describes us as “purely detached decision-makers” who have now come to the realization that we are human. Warm red blood flows in our veins, not cold, clear, tasteless water. We feel, we express and we have opinions.
Finally, the world has begun to acknowledge this through instruments such as the Nauru Declaration. But has it treated us, women judges, with our unique roles and situations, especially health issues?
We know why wellness matters. It ensures we fulfil our collective constitutional mandate - upholding democracy, fair trial rights, public trust and confidence and access to justice.
But at what cost to us? How do we guard against the threats of decision fatigue, reduced concentration, emotional blunting or overreaction, delayed judgments sometimes resulting in denied justice and above all, increased error risk? How can we live up to expectations, both public and more importantly private?
At some other time, I may go into what is now mainstream literature of the core dimensions of judicial wellness: psychological, ethical, physical and institutional. Studies have shown that, for instance, decision fatigue may affect severity of sentences, cognitive overload may affect reasoning, chronic stress may affect risk perception and constant pressure may affect the overall quality of judicial performance - none of which serves the efficiency, effectiveness, impartiality and integrity expected of us.
How then do we maintain sustained intellectual clarity, impartiality under pressure, avoid cynicism or bias and preserve moral compass, especially in difficult cases?
We are grateful for emerging global trends now present in some judiciaries: counselling facilities, stress management and trauma awareness training, peer support systems, caseload management reforms, realistic performance standards, regular reporting and sharing of our roles and functions and our work with relevant stakeholders and the public, wellness and mindfulness programmes and the elevation of judicial wellness as a governance issue. Some judiciaries even offer paid annual medical examinations or gyms to allow judicial officers that space to become recalibrated. So there are improvements and there is room for more.
Today, I want to focus on our uniqueness as women – not the familiar themes of a “double competence burden”, “performance hyper awareness” and the inevitable “work-life interface”, but rather on a natural life transition that many of us navigate: the midlife phase, including the menopausal transition.
This period may bring changes such as sleep disturbance, brain fog, hot flashes and fluctuations in energy and mood. These are normal, yet too often faced in silence.
These occurrences put untold pressure on us as we oftentimes carry that burden alone, concealing it even from our families. Some of us even have to experience failing relationships and all the while having to balance those with our judicial roles and responsibilities. I speak of relationships, but we have to consider as well our relationship with our younger, more energetic self. Many of us respond by working harder, withdrawing or doubting ourselves.
I too experienced moments when I was less sure of myself and thought that I was “losing it”. Imposter Syndrome stepped in. I had to decide which fork in the road to follow and how to cope.
I realized that there are other buttons in life beside RUN. For some emotions and activities, there is the STOP/DELETE button. Decide which facets of your life, including people who are important and can move on with you. You can BACKSPACE if you feel the need to. PAUSE - take time to know and understand yourself. Get help if you need to. Share with others. That for me worked so well.
Recalibrating - through sleep, rest, movement, self-care and balanced meals - can make a big difference. Reclaiming our mindset, not neglecting joy and physical activity and learning something new is equally important.
Institutionally, we can advocate for awareness of midlife health and menopause within judicial wellness programmes, confidential medical leave without reputational stigma, temporary caseload adjustment mechanisms and the effective use of ADR to support workload management.
We must recognize that we are HUMAN. It is OK to be tired, overwhelmed or frustrated at times. A moment of humour on the Bench may take the edge off and actually calms you down. Nothing like a big bright smile used appropriately. Simply listening to your body can ease the strain and help you return to work with clarity.
Then when we feel, we press PLAY.
I struggled at moments, and some challenges still make me pause, but I know that I am not alone. Women judges are not a group apart in a negative way - we are special, and we claim our uniqueness and make it work for us. I now feel a responsibility to support younger women who aspire to the bench and my peers and colleagues who may need encouragement.
As Gloria Gaynor said… I will survive, I am OK. And together, we ensure that we are all OK.
